Be Good To Your Friends

When I was in high school, I wasn’t the best basketball player ever. In fact, I was rarely one of the top 5 guys on the court in any given game. So whenever we played pick-up ball and had captains picking teams, I always just sort of hoped to get picked up (because it was never fun sitting that first game).

But one thing I noticed during my senior year is that, whenever my friend Mark was a captain, whether it was in open gym after school or out at one of the city parks, he would always pick me first.

Not because I was the best one out there. Trust me, I wasn’t. There were plenty of guys on the court who could make me just look silly out there, whether it was their skill or simply their athleticism.

No…Mark would pick me first because we were friends.

At the time, I never thought much of it. I just assumed he wanted me on his team. Looking back on it now as an adult, I realized Mark was doing something that he didn’t need to do. He was simply being good to his friend. He could have EASILY picked a better player over me first. After all, the winning team gets to stay in pick-up basketball. Instead, he would waste his all-important first pick on me.

Sometimes I wonder if I’d have had the good sense to pick him first if I’d ever been a captain. Part of me fears I wouldn’t have. Which is why I try to keep this advice in mind now more than ever:

Be good to your friends.

You may not always find the most success that way, but I guarantee, in the long run, it will be the best success you could hope for.

Photo by Chris Metcalf. Thanks Chris!

Listen To Music That Makes You Feel Good

I know I talk about music a lot on here, so it should be no surprise that I have more thoughts on music. Every once in awhile it’s nice to hear a song that just makes you feel good.

Rather than type longer than I need to, I’ll just share two songs that have rocked my world the past few weeks. If you have any thoughts that make you feel the way these songs make me feel, please share them in the comments and let me know. I’d love to check them out.

Up first, “Wake Up Everybody” as covered by John Legend, The Roots, Melanie Fiona and Common…

The second is the World Cup Remix of “Wavin’ Flag” by k’naan…

Hope you guys enjoy them as much as I do.

Don’t Use The Word “Just”

Lately I’ve found myself using a certain word more and more frequently. Far too frequently, in fact. So I figured today was as good a day as any to discuss why removing this word from your vocabulary (and mine) could be helpful for you in the future.

Don’t use the word “just.”

I know I’ve done it a thousand times, but using the word “just” seems to turn reasonable objectives and goals into an unreachable benchmark or, in some cases, “just” is used purely as an excuse for an unreasonable attitude.

How many times have you heard someone say, “If this person would just leave me alone, I could have such a productive afternoon!” or “If that cop had just let me go this morning, I wouldn’t have been late to my meeting!”?

When you think about it, is it really that person (who has only come by your desk twice today, mind you) keeping you from getting your project done? Or is it that you have spent two hours of your afternoon checking Twitter for World Cup updates and time-consuming blog posts to read? Is it really the cop’s fault that you were speeding on your way to work and deserved a speeding ticket? Or could you have avoided the situation altogether by following the law?

Using “just” to generalize or simplify situations does us little good. While we may think we have perfectly good reasons to use it, odds are we’d all be better served by avoiding ”just” and taking responsibility for handling the things we just want to blame on something else.

What do you think? Do you find yourself using “just” more than you need to use it? Is it not as big of a deal to you as it is to me? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Photo (“just married”) c/o Jenny Downing. Thanks Jenny!

Ask For Help

We try to do a lot in our lives. Our society has developed this high-intensity lifestyle that thrives on doing as many things as we can for ourselves. The problem is that living this way eventually gets overwhelming. Always trying to do everything ourselves leads to stress. We forget things. We don’t finish things we intended to finish and feel like failures. We give up sleep to in order to get things done.

In trying to “do,” we forget to live.

With that in mind, my advice today is fairly simple, but it can definitely ease some stress from your life if you choose not to ignore it.

Ask for help.

Oftentimes, when we feel like we need to do everything ourselves, we cannot imagine someone else getting something done the way we want it done. And we cannot imagine unloading our burden onto someone else and expecting that person to handle it in our place.

But the truth is people want to help us more than we realize. Sometimes it is as simple as asking someone for a backrub. Other times it is something a little harder to ask for, like asking someone to help you move or asking someone to watch your kids. But no matter what you ask for, odds are you will find at least one person willing to lend a helping hand.

Asking for help and receiving it will make you feel better. It will ease your stress. It will help you go from “doing” to “living.”

But you must be willing to ask.

Oh, and remember to return the favor when someone asks for your help.

Photo (“Help!”) c/o Dimitri N. Thanks Dimitri!

Learn Keyboard Shortcuts

Yesterday I wrote about how helpful it can be to develop useful habits. I would like to continue that train of thought with today’s post, which reflects those sentiments. My advice for today will take some practice, but it can really come in handy over time.

Learn keyboard shortcuts.

I know it might sound silly or not worth your time, but I am constantly amazed at how frequently I use keyboard shortcuts and I am even more amazed at how much more effective I am on the computer when I use them.

Whether it is the quick use of Ctrl + C to copy and Ctrl + V to paste, hitting Ctrl + B to put text in bold, or randomly useful shortcuts like holding Alt and pressing Tab (if you keep 3-5 windows open at a time, you’ll see why this one is useful), keyboard shortcuts help me use my time much more efficiently when I am on the computer.

I am going to list some of my most used shortcuts, but I would encourage you to use (and share) whatever shortcuts are most useful to you. The results should speak for themselves.

My most-used shortcuts include:

Ctrl + C – Copy
Ctrl + X – Cut
Ctrl + V – Paste
Ctrl + B – Bold
Ctrl + I – Italics
Ctrl + U – Underline
Ctrl + S – Save
Ctrl + Z – Undo

Alt + Tab – Quick switch between windows

Also, I really started focusing on using keys that are not necessarily shortcuts but do help speed along typing efforts. Those keys (which I also recommend learning) include:

Home – Typically in the 6-button cluster above arrow keys (or along the right side of a keyboard on laptops)
End – Same area, below Home button
Delete – Same area, to the left of End

If you have some other useful shortcuts, pass the word along in the comments below. And happy learning. I hope learning keyboard shortcuts helps you as much as it has helped me.

Photo (“Keyboard”) c/o Dan Foy. Thanks Dan!

Develop Useful Habits

Remember the first time your computer crashed and you lost that entire book report you had been typing for 2 hours? Remember the mixed feeling of rageful anger and utter despair knowing there was NOTHING you could do to get back the perfectly-worded brilliance you had spent all night typing?

I remember it vividly. You probably do too. If not the experience itself, you at least remember the feeling it left with you. But do you remember what you started doing immediately after you lost that book report (or Photoshop project or Excel spreadsheet or client proposal)? You started saving your files. A lot.

I have learned over the past few years that developing useful habits can be just that – useful. Although it takes practice, you can really start to reap the rewards of practicing useful habits once they become consistent.

For example, as a blogger, I frequently leave comments on other blogs. But now, before I do got to publish my comment, I hit Control+A (select all) and then Control+C (copy) in case the comment doesn’t upload. Then, instead of losing it forever, I can simply re-paste it and try to post the comment again.

When I open a bathroom door to a single person bathroom, I always open it very slowly and I knock loudly. There is almost never a person inside if the door is left unlocked. But every once in awhile, somebody forgets to lock the door. And that is embarrassing. It’s embarrassing for you and it’s embarrassing for the person who left the door unlocked. By opening the door very slowly and knocking, I give that rare, forgetful person a chance to shout “just a second” before an awkward situation unfolds.

So that’s my advice for today. Develop useful habits and see how they ease your life. I might add another post in the future with more useful habits I find myself utilizing. For now, please leave a comment sharing some habits you’ve developed over the years that have proven to be successful in your life. If they help you, they sure couldn’t hurt the rest of us readers.

Photo (“save-files”) c/o Alessandro Vernet. Thanks Alessandro!

Discover (and Enjoy) New Music

I’ve been gone for over a week now but things are back in action and I’ve got more thoughts and advice to share. I hope you’re interested in hearing both from me.

I can’t emphasize how much I love music, so just understand that when I say I love music, I really, REALLY mean it. That said I’ll keep today’s bit of life wisdom short and sweet (for being such an important topic to me). I know I’ve talked before about learning to appreciate music. This advice builds off of that a little bit and gives you some more guidance on how to do that. I hope you can put it to good use.

Discover (and enjoy) NEW music.

Now this means more than waiting a year or two for your favorite band to release a new album or buying that track that you keep hearing on the radio off of iTunes. To me, this means really making an attempt to hear and listen to something new, something unique, and something fresh in your life.

In my opinion, one of the best places to do this is The 61. The site combines a randomly fun interface with music in various categories and it really lets you explore new sounds while still staying in the general ballpark of what you already enjoy. And, depending on the song and the artist, some songs you’ll hear are either available to buy or, better yet, available to simply download for free. I’ve received tons of music that is free to (legally) download off The 61 and, as the artists hope for and intend, I share it with as many folks as I can.

There are plenty of other ways to find good music (which I’m sure I’ll discuss at some point down the line), but for now I just wanted to share the little gem that is The 61. It’s a fun community with good tunes and it just might provide a chance for you to really find some inspiring, relaxing, or energizing music to help you get through your day.

And that’s not all that bad, right?

If you join, feel free to friend me. My name is simply mikebilleter on there and I’d love to see what musical tastes and interests we share. If we don’t share (m)any interests, I’m always up for discovering (and enjoying) more new music. Are you?

Photo (“Highway 61 Revisted Again!”) c/o H. Michael Karshis. Thanks H. Michael!

Learn To Make YOUR Criticism Constructive For Others

This week I shared my thoughts not only on accepting criticism, but also on taking criticism from others and turning it into something constructive and useful. These posts both point out that getting into this mindset is easier said than done, but if you focus on making it happen, it can make a huge difference for you.

Today I want to talk about a way that you can make it even easier to find the positive elements of criticism (no matter how negative it may seem on the surface). One of the best ways to do this seems obvious but takes practice. What exactly do I mean?

Learn to make YOUR criticism constructive for others.

For as frustrated as we get when people criticize our work or our efforts, we often manage to completely overlook the times we do just that to other people. Whether it is a co-worker we criticize, a subordinate, a brother or an employee at a grocery store, we are rarely able to see the errors of our ways when we try to point out the errors of other people’s ways.

So here’s what I want you to focus on in the future. The next time you find yourself criticizing someone or something, be sure you offer at least ONE reasonable solution or suggestion to help improve the situation.

This is a lesson I learned from my close friend and mentor, Hugh Weber. I spent about a year working with him where I would “critique” his work by saying things like, “I get what you’re trying to say, but this line needs to be changed” or “The video is good, but I don’t like this part,” but I would never offer a suggestion on how to improve it.

This left him knowing I didn’t like something he had created or done but with zero guidance from me on how to change it or improve it. Finally he told me that, for everything I was critical of (which he didn’t mind), I needed to at least offer one suggestion for improvement.

Criticisms like “I don’t like this line” became “Maybe replace the word ‘great’ with ‘spectacular.’” Critiques like “This part of the video needs to change” became “Why don’t you re-record this in a different setting to help change the feel of the video a bit?”

Not only was I helping Hugh by pointing him in the direction I was trying to go, but I also helped myself by having to critically think about ways to improve something (instead of simply just leaving it up to someone else). From that point on I found it much easier not only to criticize and critique without invoking negative feelings, but also easier to make myself think more critically about an effort or project.

Frankly, both outcomes have been really helpful in my life and I sincerely hope they can be helpful to you too. By pointing out a positive solution along with every criticism, you’ll be amazed at how much more open people are to your opinion and how much easier it is for you to recognize (or try to discover) what someone is looking for when he or she criticizes you or your work.

It’s better for you and it’s better for others. I’d say that works out well all around. Hope this advice is as helpful in your life as it has been in mine.

Photo (“Advice”) c/o Laughlin Elkind. Thanks Laughlin!